It’s Not A Secret Crush If He Stares At You All The Time, And You Know About It

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems? Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to. From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

There is a boy in my class, who has a secret crush on me. He keeps staring at me most of the time. I have mixed feelings for him. He is my brother’s friend. My family is against all this ‘love stuff’. Because of all these things, I can’t even study. I don’t know what to do. Should I talk to him or just ignore and move on? – AK

AK, how can it be a secret ‘crush’, if he stares at you all the time. What’s the ‘secret’ here? A secret is, like say your Pan Card Number which no else knows. Or who’s going to rule Telangana? Or Madonna’s real age? Or who is in charge of Pakistan. AK, I hope you get my drift there’s no secret. He likes you. Now don’t get confused with all the family stuff as yet. You are not going to marry him next Tuesday, are you? (By the way, now that would be a secret). First thing first. Do you like him? Mixed feelings is a positive sign. Only no feelings, is a negative sign. So first figure out your feelings, as his ‘secret’ is extremely open. The family and their opinion, should remain a secret for now. First deal with yourself, and your apparently ‘secret’ feelings towards to him.

There is a girl in my college and we both happen to make eye contacts quite a lot of times I don’t know if she is interested in me or is it just by chance that we happen to look at each other. How do I start a conversation with her? Also, she doesn’t speak a word with anyone else in the class. What do I do? — VE

Well VE, you could join the special ‘Eye Contact’ coaching classes available at Kedar’s Coaching Classes in Andheri West, or Bhola’s Classes in Vasant Vihar, New Delhi. Or since those classes don’t exist, and never will, you can search your body with both hands, until you find some courage. That courage is important, it’s like petrol for your car. Only courage is much cheaper. Just as obvious, as night following day, is the idea of dialogue following shared glances. Since, she appears shy, and not very talkative, you, have to start the conversation. You refer to 47% of my answers, which all contain the same answer, but with different spellings. Just, start with a simple greeting. A hello. A hello back means progress. Normal conversation about class room culture will follow.

There is a girl in my apartment, who is slightly elder to me. We have been good friends for now, but I somehow have developed feelings for her. The only thing I am sure is that she is single. I don’t want to lose out on a good friend by proposing to her. What should I do? — NT

A girl in your apartment, NT? Where do you live, in a working women’s hostel? Okay, ignore that. Remember Emperor Comodius of Rome? He fell in love with Rhinoceros, but wasn’t sure of the Rhino’s feelings for him. To be certain he had the Rhino brought three feet from him. History records that the wound to his Glutus muscle from the agitated Rhino’s horn never healed fully. Sadly, the girl in your apartment is hot a rhinoceros, so its tough to get such a clear picture. First and foremost stop treating her like a Rhino. Do not propose to her. Keep the good friend technique on for a while. Your next step is to ask her out for coffee. A date which is not a date. Slowly but surely get her to go out with you. If she does, you have your answer without even proposing. Forget Everest’s peak. Just climb the damn mountain, stop behaving like a Rhino!

I am a teenager and I seem to have been very interested in the concept of Polyamory. However, I am in a relationship with someone at present and I don’t know how to tell her that I want to explore this side of my personality too. Please help. — KR

KR, you have my full permission. And that word permission is the answer to your question. You want multiple partners? It’s all good as long as all partners give consent. No building contract binds you to monogamy. Polyamory can be explained through a simple political metaphor. The Multi party system. It can be practiced. But very often leads to chaos. Please check with your partner if she shares your interest in polyamory. Now if she prefers monogamy, your experiment with polyamory will lead to you being hit repeatedly on the head with a hot frying pan, until you give up your liberal views. So, I give you a thumbs-up and I’m sending you my friend Dr .Rustom Modi’s number.

Cyrus Broacha

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